Today I delivered a 10-minute talk at 4Networking in Southampton which was all about a simple ten-step process to achieving your goals, no matter what they are.  The ten steps are: Ask, align, accept, begin, breakthrough barriers, believe, courage, committment, coaching and determination.

Having a coach work alongside you will help you with confidence building and will ensure that you will achieve that goal.  You can do whatever you want to do - having a coach just makes it much more doable.

So whatever your goal might be, do give me a call on 01202 743961 to discuss.

Confidence building is vital as confidence is everything.  In fact, it’s the bedrock of success.  Without it, nothing works properly.  So what does confidence mean?  It simply means with faith, so self-confidence means with faith in self.  One of the things I do when working with people is to help them with confidence building and lead them back to their inner self-confidence so whether they need to stand up and speak at a networking meeting or create and achieve their heart-felt desires and goals, I am  their partner.

In short, I am a powerful catalyst for positive change.  Let me help you help yourself.  Call me on 01202 743961.

Yesterday evening, I went to a Biodanza class.  It was a very moving (pardon the pun) experience.  Although I had never done this before, I took to it like a duck to water. 

Rolando further extended his system to make it attractive to a wider public. Within a typical Biodanza class, we are invited to embark on an enjoyable exploration of our emotions. Dancing to a selection of inspiring music ranging from Bach to Beatles, and from fiery South American rhythms to wistful Celtic airs creates a decidedly “feel good” effect. Sometimes dancing is solo, at other times in 2s, and even in larger groups. It offers an opportunity to express yourself creatively through movement and dance in a safe and supportive environment.  My first experience was extremely powerful.  There was much eye contact between the Biodanza participants which personally I am very comfortable with and lots of genuine, heart-felt smiling.  It was contagious.  I couldn’t stop smiling and several times there were also tears.  Sometimes, they were tears of joy and other times tears of release.  I felt an internal beauty which I have never.  In fact, I felt like I had touched my very divinity.

So, if you are looking to combine exercise with both an emotional and spiritual aspect to it and are not afraid to step out of your comfort zone, step into Biodanza. 

Since I last wrote a blog on this subject, I have moved on apace.  This week, I ran for a full hour non-stop.  Of course, you do realise when I say run that in actual fact I mean jog.  Nevertheless, it is a wonderful achievement and 9 weeks ago, when I started running just 2 minutes at a time, I would not have believed it possible.

What I have noticed is that my breathing when running has improved enormously and I’m now able to talk at the same time – something which was impossible to do in the first few weeks.  So what have I learnt through this process which can be applied to other areas of my life?  It’s quite simple.  It’s the three Cs:

COURAGE:  We are human beings.  Sometimes we need courage to take the first step and then continue to take the necessary steps until we reach our goal.

COMMITMENT:  When we commit to something whole-heartedly, it becomes easier to take those steps.

COACHING:  Having a coach on your side can make a massive difference in boosting your courage and commitment.

So, if you have a goal that you want to achieve, and you’re procrastinating, find yourself a reputable coach who will help you get there.

If you wish to sponsor me, please go to: www.justgiving.com/vanessa.   Any encouragement would be very gratefully received.

Who would have thought that in just 5 weeks, running three times a week, it would be possible for a 55-year old to go from 5 x 2 minutes running to 2 x 15 minutes running with just 2 minutes brisk walking in between? Well I certainly wouldn’t have believed it!  However, I’m extremely happy to report that on Saturday, I did just that – 2 x 15 minutes running and, what’s more, without my coach.  Now, although I still continue to focus on the week at hand, it seems that there may be a possibility of me being able to complete the run, without having to do much walking.  We’ll see.

OBSERVATION:

When I first begin a running session, I can feel quite breathless and, as time goes on, my breathing settles down.  I questioned my coach and other runners on this and they all reported the same thing.  Whether this is entirely physical or whether there is a psychological element to it, I’m not sure.  Either way, it’s useful to be aware of it. 

TIP:

Like any activity that we do, it’s important to have the right thoughts.  For non-runners, running is physically challenging and therefore it’s easy to have negative thoughts about it.  Here’s a really simple tip for you.  Did you know that the word “yes” is probably one of the most powerful words we can utter?  Well try it.  If you repeat the word under your breath as you run along, it becomes a mantra and your body responds to it positively, increasing your strength and stamina.  Since the mind and body are inextricably linked, this must be so.  But don’t take my word for it, try it out for yourself. 

If you wish to sponsor me, please go to: www.justgiving.com/vanessa.  And please let me have your comments on the blog.  Any encouragement would be very gratefully received.

I had my first training session on 26 July on Bournemouth Pier.  After a 5 minute brisk walk as a warm up, we ran for just two minutes and then walked for 3.  Believe me when I say that 2 minutes seems a long time, if you’re not used to running.  We did this 5 times and finished with a brisk walk at the end.  By the way, it also started to rain part way through our session, not hard, but just enough to be a nuisance and, considering we are in July, one could have expected better weather.  Never mind.  It’s probably just as well to get used to it at the beginning, as it was bound to happen at some point during training.

Naturally, all the fears about why had I decided to do this walk came up in that first session and how on earth was I going to manage to complete a 10 mile run in 3 months time, if I could only run for 2 minutes at a time now.  Karen assured me that my reaction was quite normal and I would get there, even though I may have to walk part of the way. 

What’s really important of course is to build up the amount of consecutive running time and without causing any damage.  I am happy to report that it would appear that this morning I am not aching very much, so we must have pitched it correctly. 

Like preparing a presentation or a speech, it’s vital to do the following:

1)     Have a structure.

2)     Have strategies for managing negative thoughts and emotions

3)     Practise

4)     Get training from a professional

My structure is to increase the amount of time I run each week.  My strategies for managing negative thoughts are to see myself arriving at the finishing line and then standing up at Carrington to tell them I did it.  My practise will be 3 times a week and Karen will be supporting me.

I’ll let you know how I get on.

I mentioned in one of my previous blogs that our outer world is a reflection of our inner world and this, of course, is true in all areas of our life. 

For example, when I think about the matter of health, I have an extremely strange situation going on.  I know in my heart of hearts that I want to eat healthily and reap the rewards of doing so.  On the other hand, I have some bad eating habits which do not fit in with this goal.   

On the plus side, I don’t smoke or drink, nor do I drink tea or coffee.  In addition, I drink freshly prepared organic vegetable and fruit juices, drink plenty of water, eat raw garlic to boost the immune system and eat a reasonably healthy diet.  I also exercise regularly. 

On the negative side, however, I am having a mad, passionate affair with chocolate (rolos are flavour of the month) and I just can’t get enough of it.  So how can this unwanted behaviour be corrected?

I believe that the reason for this is in the mind, as everything starts with a thought.  The thought may be conscious or subconscious and is probably more often likely to be subconscious.  In my case, it’s centred around the loss of my Father and the fact that I do not have enough sweetness in my life. I’m trying to make up for this by filling myself up with chocolate.  If you have a bad eating habit, you may wish to try the following:

1.  Accept that you are choosing to eat ……. (fill in the gap.)

2.  Understand what the pay off is for eating the above. 

3.  Accept the potential consequences of eating it.

4.  Based on 1, 2 and 3 above, make a decision whether to continue eating it or not.

5.  To give up eating it, first of all, stop buying it.

6.  Create a new habit.  (Eating chocolate or any other ‘naughty’ food is just a habit and can be changed.) 

7.  Replace it with a healthy option, e.g. raw carrot (which is sweet), apple etc.

8.  Do some activities which give pleasure – e.g. listen to music, dancing, singing, meeting with friends, etc.

9. Notice the benefits of your new, healthy habit.

10. Reward yourself (not with chocolate, though.)

As I am living and working from home, we decided that the best way to tackle the refurbishment would be one room at a time.  The office cum 2^nd bedroom was our first target.  This necessitated me clearing out the entire room, furniture included, most of which I disposed of via Dorset Reclaim.  It was strange to see the room stripped bare for the first time in 20 years.  It was looking pretty tired and shabby and, although I had disposed of the old furniture, it now brought to light the room’s many defects.  During this process, the parallel internal work is going on – the layers are being stripped back and the defects uncovered.  Like weeds, these defects must be plucked out.  Of course a refurbishment creates mess, dust and disorder and for a short while, my environment will look worse before it looks much better.  So too is my internal state stirred up and in disarray.

So the aim is to choose freedom in every moment.

Clutter clearing is a golden opportunity to get rid of everything which no longer serves a purpose, is just gathering dust or taking up space.  This allows new things to enter your life as the universe abhors a vacuum.  By the same token, if all your rooms, cupboards and drawers are full to the brim, there is no room for anything new to come in.  You may also find that you feel cluttered in your mind.  If you understand that your outer world is a reflection of your inner world, you can see which areas of your life need tidying up.

About 6 weeks after my Father died, I decided that I wanted my flat to be modernised and refurbished.  In fact, I had wanted this for a long time but, for various reasons, kept putting it off.  His death was the signal that massive change was occurring in my life and therefore the timing seemed most opportune.  As the weather was so cold this last winter, I decided that May would probably be the best time for the refurbishment work to commence.  However, in the meantime, I began, slowly but surely, to clear out cupboards and throw away all sorts of unwanted items.  At the same time, I visualised myself getting rid of unwanted old thoughts and ideas which also no longer served me.  As I took things gently working at my own pace, I found this process cathartic.   

It’s interesting to notice how you feel around certain of your possessions compared with others.  Sometimes they may have sentimental value and it can be difficult to let go of them.  Many things you come across will have been forgotten and it’s said that if you haven’t used something in a year, unless it’s an item which only gets used once in a blue moon, you should dispose of it.  Rather than throwing things away which can still be used by someone else, please remember the many charities which can sell your stuff and help others in need.

I believe that the key to the clutter-clearing process is to really want to do it.  Don’t force yourself, go slowly, take your time, go with your gut feeling and in this way, you will make all the right decisions.

Writing Affirmations 

·        Write them in the present tense.  Never use the past or future tenses.

·        Make them short so that they are easy to remember.

      ·        Make them personal – I am, I know, I have etc.

      ·        Be specific about your desired outcome.  State what but not how.

      ·        Make the vocabulary personal to you.