THE GRIEVING PROCESS – THE FIRST ANNIVERSARY
Today is the first anniversary of my Father’s death. It seems extraordinary that a whole year has passed and I have survived. So there is life after death! I have to report that the extreme feelings of anger which I was experiencing have all but gone now and the tears have also subsided, although not completely disappeared. There are still pockets of emotion which occur at odd times, perhaps triggered by a film, a piece of music or some other stimulus which prompts the memory. As mentioned in previous blogs, the grieving process does appear to be cyclical rather than linear and therefore this is perfectly normal.
In the lead up to today, I thought that this day would not be different from those preceding. However, I was wrong. I do feel very emotional this morning and would just love to pick up the phone and call my Father. However, I would also add that no matter how strong the feelings are when we lose a loved one, they do, by the very nature of time, diminish. If you are recently bereaved, you will probably not believe this – I know that I didn’t and yet it’s true. I remember a few weeks after my Father died having a dream. It was very brief and showed a clock, a very distinctive clock which I remembered he had had at one time, although I couldn’t find it in the house when I went to look. To me, it was clearly a sign from him to say that time heals.
More recently, as I have become aware that I think of him less than I did before, I have become upset at the thought that I could forget him. What a fanciful and ridiculous thought that was! How could I possibly forget the man who had been my Father for 54 years? He will always be in my heart.
So if you are currently experiencing the first anniversary of a loved one’s death, or are recently bereaved, I empathise with you and wish you well on your journey through the grieving process.